One of these days, you'll shout "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age?!" And they will. Or you'll say, "Kids, get out and find yourselves something to do...and don't slam the door!" And they won't.
You'll straighten the boy's bedroom neat and tidy and smooth...toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet with clothes attatched. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now, I want it to stay like this!" And it will.
You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say "Now, there's a meal for company!" And you'll eat it alone.
You'll say "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around, no pantomimes, no demolition crews, Silence! Do you hear?" And you'll have it.
No more plastic placemats stained with spaghetti. No more spreads to protect sofas from damp bottoms and dusty shoes. No more gates to tumble over in the door of the baby's room. No more Hot Wheels or Barbie dolls under the couch. No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under a vaporizer. No more cracker crumbs in the sheets. No more wall-to-wall water in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches. No wet, knotted shoelaces, pants with knees out, or rubberbands for ponytails.
Imagine a lipstick with a point on it. Not having to get a baby-sitter on New Year's eve. Family washing only once a week. Seeing steak that isn't ground. Marketing with only groceries in the basket. No more car pools. No more blaring radios or Sesame Street three times a day on TV. No more washing her hair at 9 o'clock at night. No more wondering where the family car is. Having your own roll of scotch tape.
Think about it. No more Christms presents out of construction paper and glue. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark. No knees to heal. No responsibility. Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?!" And a silence echoing, "I did!"
